There are three things I have learned this year in college that have made a difference in my faith: The brain formation of an adolescent, the use of academic language, and doing my laundry.

This year I transferred to Illinois State University from a small community college in my hometown. As I studied ways to teach young adolescents how to read and write, I learned many things about my faith. Here are three big ones:

As we grow, our brain grows with us. Once we reach “adolescence” our brain does not only grow, but our mind grows as well. People enter what is known as the “formal operation” thinking stage. This is of course a psychological theory, but I think Piaget is pretty close on target. It is during this time that one begins to form their own thoughts, beliefs, and values that are separate from their parents. This is not to say that the person does not have similar beliefs as their parents, but that the person is able to form their own ideas because their cognitive development has allowed them to do so. I recently had my 21^st birthday, and I would say I am leaving the “adolescent” stage of my life and entering the “emerging adulthood” stage. However, there is something I have learned in college that reminds me of the formal operation thinking: My parent’s faith is not my faith. I grew up watching my mom read her Bible every morning and raise her hands to praise Jesus on Sundays. For a long time, I associated my faith with her faith. She reads her Bible and we talk about Jesus, therefore I am automatically grandfathered in to heaven. It wasn’t until I moved out of my house and into my own apartment that I fully realized that was my line of thinking. I had the choice to grab my faith by the horns and make it my own or to leave it at home with a few pairs of socks and T-shirts. The choice to surround myself with a group of Christian friends, join a small group, and a campus ministry was the best choice(s) I could have made. Reading my Bible, talking about Jesus, and praying was now not something I only did with my mom, but with a great deal of people. My faith is my own, separate from my parents’.

Understanding academic language is a big deal for middle school students. It’s a big deal for Christians too. This year I have learned to question and to criticize. I am fed up with “Sunday school answers”. I want to dig deep, I want to know why and how and who and what. Two years ago I lost my brother to cancer. Since that day, I have questioned and criticized our views on healing and on prayer. Not in a bad way that I believe it does not happen, but in a good way because I believe it can happen. I believe that sometimes we hide behind our prayers instead of actually healing. And does having 100 prayer warriors vs. two make a difference? Are more people praying actually going to “convince” God to heal a person? Is that what we believe? What are we doing wrong? If we are the body, why aren’t His hands healing? I want to question and criticize; I want to critically think about my faith in order to make it stronger and deeper. I do not want to just stick my Hobby Lobby Bible quote in my dining room, say a 15 second prayer before dinner, and think that it is going to work. I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I want all Christians to want that too. I want us to question and criticize together and make our faith stronger.

One of the biggies I have learned since leaving home was how to do my own laundry. I bet you know where this one is going right? Clean vs. dirty laundry and where it belongs. I want to tell you where it all belongs: Church. Church with a capital C and church with a lower case: one is the building and one is the people. It belongs in both. My church has an amazing program that they sponsor, which is Celebrate Recovery. It is a support group for anyone who is recovering from a hardship. And I love it; I think it is beautiful. But growing up, I have learned where your dirty laundry does not belong, and that is in public. The reason I bring up Celebrate Recovery is because those people have great testimonies, right? I mean really, they are powerful stories. But this year I have learned that we all have those beautiful stories. I have never suffered from alcoholism or a drug addiction, but I am a sinner. A big sinner in fact. But because of Jesus I am clean; I am beautiful; I am His. I want to bring my dirty laundry to church. I want to admit that I am Jesus’ daughter, but I struggle with sin. I lay things down at His feet and pick them up a week later. I need Jesus every second of every day because without His strength, the Enemy is knocking at my door and I am extremely tempted to answer it and invite him in for tea. I want to talk about struggle. I want to talk about hardships. I want us all to admit that we’re sinners, just as big of a sinner as the alcoholic sitting next to us in church. Just as big of a sinner as the person with the “great testimony”. I want us to go to the alter and pour ourselves out to Jesus; not just the people who are going through a divorce, but ALL of us. We need that. We need each other. We need to be honest and share our dirty laundry with each other. If not, the Enemy is going to offer us all a can of Febreze and we will mask as long as we can.